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| Monday, July 26, 2010 |
| The Mood |
Emotion: Do you ever feel just at a total loss of self-worth? That things are becoming unraveled so quickly? Today, I had a bad case of the Monday Blues. I suppose much of it is just being a woman. I find that part of me revolting sometimes. It can be dramatic and not one person I know loves drama. We (women) have tendencies towards drama. It's really due to our scientific and inherent hormonal nature. Most of the time, I loathe this part of being a woman.
Today, however, I'm finding God is working in me. I found myself quite lonely. I constantly sought God to help me with this, but kept sinking further and further into disappointment. I became quite distraught. Even as I write this, I am not feeling so fulfilled. But God allowed me to become lonely today. He stripped my life of all of my social networks and revealed my naked self today. I could only go to Him. He was the only one who was listening. So how can I feel like I am alone? Especially when He heals the brokenhearted and binds my wounds.
This life is hard sometimes. Really hard.Labels: Emotions |
posted by Sommer @ 8:46 PM   |
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| Friday, July 9, 2010 |
| The Lotus Flower |
Vision: (@ TNG 07.06.10) During worship, I envisioned a tiny angel that glowed so brightly you could only see wings fluttering in a gold light. As I came closer to it, its wings became lotus flower petals and I saw a bright white lotus flower floating in a small pond. It was definitely an ecosystem similar to a Japanese garden, as I saw a pagoda-like building in the background reflecting off the water.
I had no real conclusion to this vision. Others in the group suggested it might be a word for myself. I did not know what the lotus flower meant and they seemed to think it meant peace...that peace is what God wants for me. So, of course, in my quest for a satisfying ending, I researched this further and found many meanings, all of which I will pray for the right one to shine through. Perhaps, it is all three. (These, I felt, were VERY interesting for me.)
- I found the Chinese use the lotus flower to symbolize perseverance through difficult times. The lotus flower grows up out of the thick, dark mud, and through murky waters to triumphantly sit atop the water brilliantly radiating its white purity. No matter what happens in life, beauty and light will always come from the darkness.
- (1) Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, (2) through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. (3) Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; (4) perseverance, character; and character, hope. (5) And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. - Romans 5:1-5
- (10) Feed the hungry and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out of the darkness and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon. - Isaiah 58:10
- Another analogy is associated with the stalk of the flower. It is easily bendable, but very hard to break because of how fibrous it is. This symbolizes the unbreakable bond between two people or family members to the point that not even distance can separate them in heart. (I like this one!)
- May the Lord be loyal to you in return and reward you with his unfailing love! And I, too, will reward you for what you have done. - 2 Samuel 2:6
- (13) Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love. - 1 Corinthians 13:1
- In Buddhism, the lotus flower represents faithfulness, purity, and enlightenment, which are achieved through endurance. The lotus flower only blooms for three days and then the petals drop one by one into the water. Finally, the seed falls down into the murky depths. Seeds are known to last a very long time. The Chinese have planted 1,200-year-old seeds and they have been cultivated into new life.
- He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him. - Proverbs 2:8
- (4)For it is impossible to bring back to repentance those who were once enlightened—those who have experienced the good things of heaven and shared in the Holy Spirit, (5) who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the power of the age to come— (6) and who then turn away from God. - Hebrews 6:4-6
All of these explanations of the meaning of the lotus flower mean something to me. They all represent some part of me. I pray the Lord reveals more to me. Over the last year, I have changed. Though I changed a lot 7 years ago, a big part of me has changed just within this last year. Coming to the realization and being comfortable with it in a world of influences has been a struggle.
I am yours, God, and nobody elses. I am so very thankful that You show me Your ways through my own little looking glass. You knitted me in my mother's womb and know how I am wired. My gratefulness can not be said in words for all of the good and bad in my life that You allow to happen. My faith is restored and my strength unfailing in this very moment. Praise You, my Father in Heaven. Rain down on me Your grace and mercy. Amen.Labels: visions |
| posted by Sommer @ 10:47 PM |
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